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Lord, I Am Fixin' to Die

from Collection: 2011​-​2014 by Jeff Straw

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lyrics

Lord, I am fixin' to die.
Lord, won't you hear my bleating sigh?
Lord, find some pity for the man I have become.
Though I'm older now, I still don't know how to love.

I found a girl in Phoenix and one in Fondelac.
The latter said she loved me, but she'd lust behind my back.
The former felt too friendly, and with my friends she got frisky.
I liked those girls, but they weren't good to me.

Oh, Lord, please forgive me.
Though I know you can't conceive what I have done.
Oh, Lord, please extend to a lost son.
The grace and mercy of the Noble One.

I had my first in Tulsa after way too much to drink.
We fought in the back alley; afterward he couldn't speak.
I took my knife and out of spite, I left him cold as ice.
Through most my life, I hadn't thought about it twice.

Another was in Bangor; the reason wasn't known.
We drove out to the country; he was shaken to his bones.
I left him there in a far-off field, buried like a dog.
He was kind enough, but I still didn't think it wrong.

Oh, Lord, did you expect me
To never find the errors in my ways?
Oh, Lord, I expel all of my scorn.
Grant me gifts of God's good, gracious morn.

I had a girl in Hiko. We were together for a spell.
From the churchyard to the pictures, we would always kiss and tell.
We were newly engaged and I was newly enraged when her personality changed.
I liked that girl, but I couldn't be rearranged.

They caught me outside Reno, with her body in a bag.
We were sitting at the reservoir - she took a swim as I took a drag.
The sirens screamed; I started to flee and was bit by a silver slug.
When they asked me why, I said, "I'd much rather be in love."

The mile's long… uncomfortably calm, but no, it's not that green.
Compared to the fields and trees me and my victims might have seen.
The needle's steel, but the poison feels familiar to my blood.
Though I'm dying now, I still don't know how to love.

Oh, Lord, won't you spare me?
I don't deserve this life, but there's more to Us than that.
Oh, Lord, I intend to be reformed,
Grant me innocence of life reborn.

Lord, I am fixin' to die.
Lord, won't you hear my pleading cries?
Lord, show some sympathy, and send me t'wards the sun.
Though I'm dying now, I still don't know how to love.
Love me, Lord. Please teach me how to love.

credits

from Collection: 2011​-​2014, track released September 13, 2012
Kyle Blair - Bass, Vocals
Luke Martin - Drums
Nate Redmond - Electric Guitar
Jeff Straw - Acoustic Guitar, Piano, Vocals

Written and mixed by Jeff Straw.

Recorded and Produced by Luke Martin, Nate Redmond, and Jeff Straw.

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Jeff Straw Columbus, Ohio

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